LIFE ISSUES

Last Updated (Wednesday, 11 February 2009 17:59) Written by Lekeisha Cotten Wednesday, 11 February 2009 00:00

LIFE ISSUES

HOW TO LOVE MY MATE
Knowing My Place in the Marriage

A great marriage doesn’t just happen. Having a ring and piece of paper doesn’t make a marriage. You can live in the same house and share the same bed with someone and not have the intimacy and commitment that constitute a real marriage. Having children doesn’t guarantee that the two “become one.”

I am convinced that faith in God alone is the foundation of every successful marriage. Why? Because just the act of agreeing that God has first place in every aspect of the marriage declares that the two of you are starting out on common ground. That, in itself, is an achievement! And there’s power in agreement, according to the Word of God. It sounds simplistic, but a married couple must be free to pray together, share the Word of God together, and be intimate with one another concerning God’s Word.

One of the keys to a strong marriage is that the two of you recognize and meet each other’s basic needs. God made us to complete—not to compete with—each another. Although it is a given that each individual may have unique needs and preferences, Dr. Willard Harley Jr. has identified five basic needs men expect their wives to fulfill and five basic needs women expect their husbands to meet:

For Men

Sexual fulfillment
Recreational companionship
An attractive spouse
Domestic support
Admiration

For Women

Affection
Conversation
Honesty and openness
Financial support
Family commitment

Recognize that God made your spouse with these needs and do everything in your power to provide for them. The dynamic keys to commitment and communication we share are designed to bring joy and fulfillment to your marriage. Remember, your wedding is an event, but your marriage is a lifetime achievement!

Genesis 2:18; Proverbs 31:10–12, 28; Amos 3:3; Ephesians 5:22–31; 1 Peter 3:1–8; Hebrews 13:4